You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
anyone who buys me chipotle gets an automatic hj
Maury Povich's contact info is in our database at work...i should steal it right?
There is a keg full of gin. THERE SHOULD NEVER EVER BE A KEG FULL OF GIN.
Woke up with his dick on the side of my face, it's like he passed out mid-mushroom stamp.
We got the possum out of our house. We built a maze with our empty kegs and chased it with brooms.
3 for 3 on getting girls who say "yolo" at the bar to have anal. Not the motto I live by, but it has changed my life.
Erry day erry day!
I FINALLY HAVE A REASON TO DYE MY PUBES BLUE!!!
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
My new roommate just announced that she got her period, popped a percoset, smoked a bowl, and started playing a video game. She says she's not moving till it's over. New hero?
you'll probably come home to me baked as fuck and shirtless
You shouted "my financial aid just came in, who wants a shot?!" Half the bar followed
If you're gonna show up unannounced on hangover day, you better have coffee doughnuts and a boner
I think I won an award for shitting and vomiting at the same time.
half way down the stairs my legs said fuck this and i just fell the rest of the way...
Randomize