Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
well tonys high enough to be moving from spot to spot around the kitchen shooting tortellini into a boiling pot and yelling "KING JAMES" whether he makes or misses it.
Someone changed my text signature to "Also, I think I might be gay" last night. Also, I think I might be gay
he brought me knee pads...is that sweet or weird?
Why are there sofa cushions on the floor? And why isn't there a sofa in this room that doesn't have cushions?
I definitely made out with a high school student last night while his sister and my brother were in the same room. I think we're all traumatized by the situation.
This lumberjack with a huge beard is doing his group presentation in a dirty t shirt that says "I'm only 2 girls short of a threesome"
We knew it was a good time to leave when you spilt the salsa on the ground and were trying to put it back in the jar with your hands
I masturbated to my balding thirty-something co-worker last night. I am a new level of lonely.
He was nothing but deer-caught-in-headlight eyes and dick, it was adorable
Like not to be gross, he was eating me out while I was smoking a bowl. It was like a rap video
If Plan B had a rewards card I would have earned so many free tote bags by now
You'll love it there. Trust me. Cheap tequila, pretentious beer, tall white guys who will treat you badly. Its got everything you like.
It's not even noon and I've had 3 people call me a savage, one of them said it in reference to the blow job I gave them. So I guess you could say it's going to be a good weekend
I keep worrying the police are going to come looking for us.
For which one? Starting a fire on my porch or having sex on my porch?
Randomize
