i think i just puked on my phone
we live great lives
you dialed the number "23" then talked to it for three minutes
No matter what you may say to me. You will still be the guy that managed to get his own cum in his hair.
whoever set the energy saving light timer in the lobby bathroom cleraly has no concept how long a work dump takes
He tried to stick it in and I asked him what he wanted to name our child and he quit.
I'm ultimately at thr Shariton to drink and ppssibly puke on fancy shit. Thats my story and Im sticking to it.
I concluded last night that you have no tear ducts, heart, or sense of any feeling.
How exactly do I approach the whole "Well that was fun. Am I purchasing the Plan B or you?" topic?
I have managed to reach the 'after meth poster look' before lunch here...
I feel like the fact that I slept with someone who dresses up like Batman a few times will never be lived down.
He showed me his night stand drawer...it has one too many sex things in it.
Exactly how many...is TOO many?
It's 7:30pm and we've already lost someone and had to run from the cops. What the fuck did you put in the punch?
Not only did I get the promotion, but last night after sex he took me outside and let me hold it for him while he peed in the snow. I made a heart. This week is going amazing
THIS IS SO HOT. BYE PANTIES.
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
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