i wanted to be an indian when i was a child. apparently you cannot grow up to be an indian.
can u get pink eye on your cock?
I just saw some girl with the liscense plate "OBVIII"...I never wanted to get in a car accident so badly.
she stopped mid-blowjob to explain how to acheive the haircut shown in the movie
My mom just blew pot smoke into my nose and called me a cat.
Also pregame at mine tomorrow?
OMG HE JUST PUKED WITH THE DOOR OPEN WHILE DRIVING ON THE ROAD AND OMG WE NEED TO CHAT BUT NOT ATM CAUSE THERES PUKE ON MY PHONE
hey you forgot your wet suit in my room you can come grab it whenever
Going home with an argentinian named sulvio. Ill let you know how it goes.
So he was supposed to be helping me with my math but instead we ended up drinking coconut rum in his basement and having sex. I think my mom was right, getting a tutor will be good for me. Relieves the stress.
Attempted to dodge my boyfriends cum last night and ended up falling off the bed and getting the worlds most painful charlie horse. fuck my life.
She started telling me about this odd patch of smooth skin under her boobs. Not sure if she was hitting on me or looking for free advise from a doctor...
I mean, I still played with her tits for like 20min tho.
Have you ever stopped and thought "I do NOT want to be inside of this person right now. Or ever." Because you should.
You know you're fucked up when you decide to pour fireball whiskey in your vegetable beef soup
By the way I can not feel my vagina. It's like it's asleep. What the hell did you do?
I'm floating on a rainbow and a purple elf is giving me advice. COME NOW!!!
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