Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
Would you let Jessica Biel poop in front of you to see her naked...but you have to wipe her too?
shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
He was so bad, he was dry humping me and his dick was nowhere close to my vagina.
he asked me to hangout with him...and his son
Didn't get laid. But got a free pie from a waitress. A whole pie.
hey you forgot your wet suit in my room you can come grab it whenever
Also, you peed on your hand last night. Id just like to point that out
That's the point dumbass, I can't use my boss as a reference cause they'd have to fucking call him in prison.
I had sex on a sidewalk in downtown Chicago... I don't think I have anymore morals to lose.
Happy anniversary, did you sign and mail in the divorce papers yet?
Maybe why that's why I'm perpetually single... I can't find a guy with bigger balls than mine.
I know he's only a bandaid for my emotional disrepair, but he can stick me anytime!!
I forget how to act sober
Randomize
