do u think i could put an abortion on my debit card?
His penis was definitely too big to be the type that wants commitment. Shit.
Definitely almost got hit in the face with a baby
Wait til she sees the pic of her vag in court docs.
There's always the 'not have sex with the drunk girl I just met at some party' option.
That was the plan but Tequila showed up at the party too.
I hope my tampon is in his bed. That'll teach him. Happy new years btw
"it's Wednesday" isn't a good enough excuse to take my debit card and use it for your own drunken needs. You owe me 250 bro
We just reached that moment of the night when you start making cookie quesadillas. Party on Wayne
this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie
If you come home and I'm pantsless with cake smeared all over my face, I'm sorry.
I guess I'll just chalk it up as a learning experience and a lot of great sex.
I just watched two grown men tickle-fight. Just glorious. No words.
The last thing I searched on my phone was "leave in conditioner on cats." This is where my life is.
First time a guy goes down on me and his dog had its head on my knee the whole time. I swear it was judging me.
come pick your gf up from my house. she's sitting in the fridge and hissing at the cat to let her eat the potatoes. btw i dont have a cat
Randomize
