haha my mom just sent us out to go to all of the hair cutting places to ask for hair because deer ate all our zuchini.. and we have to pee in a bucket all day cause deer hate urine. please tell me we are normal?
i cant lie to you.
If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
I sent him a picture of my touching myself. He responded back "Your nails look really nice"
I love watching others lives come down to our level.
At what point should shame kick in? Realising I had a one night stand with a man engaged or realising I am that man's wedding photographer?
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
her idea of "friends with benefits" is her doing my laundry. i'm cool with it.
It is official. It's the year of doin married chicks. Similar to the year of virgins but without all the baggage.
im shotgunning beers in the kitchen. alone. the cat is judging me.
Fuck I keep finding new battle scars from our fight. Justin told me I stabbed you with a broom handle.. Do you remember ripping my pants off?
i have a raging boner for Saturday, day drinking is one of my top favorite things right next to alligator wrestling and blowing shit up
I feel like parents watching our children. You want to step in and help them but you just have to let them make their mistakes
WHERE THE FUCK'S MY FUCKING RITALIN YOU FUCKING FASCIST?????
Adderal can only make me focus so much. Your ass is stronger than my medicine. Congratulations.
I just racked up a fucking ginormous hospital bill because I came so hard I had an asthma attack
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