I have one thing to say: spongebath.
I wish that wasn't all you had to say. And by that, I mean I wish you hadn't said that at all.
I do regret it. But I can't unfuck her
I wish i could put a picture of my ass of my resume...that seems to be the only way i will ever get hired
Her friend drew me a diagram of how we could get away with her giving me a blowjob at work.
I bought a police grade breathalyzer on ebay at 4:37 am. At least I'm a responsible drunk.
Wierdest expirience of my life this girl literally just knocked on my door at 140am to blow me in the shower. Idk what im doing but im doing it right
You insisted on going outside so you could "breathe real air".
Excuse me while I download incredibly disturbing porn until I'm more ashamed of myself than of my country.
I plan on drinking enough to kill at least 2 frat boys and make an aa meeting weep for joy
I will keep you posted and someday if we daydrink teach you how to do a footjob
It started with a wedding, followed by a drag show, and ended with Trevor getting punched in the face by the bouncer. How was your weekend?
Urgent. Do not ignore. What does this "=$" shit mean. Quality foreign dick is at stake here
WHAT IS MY LIFE THAT THE ONLY PERSON INTERESTED IN FUCKING ME IS MY 6TH GRADE MATH TEACHER
We drunkenly made out once four years ago and then he immediately vomited and honestly I've never gotten over him
Speaking of dignity, who all saw me....
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