Lets drop out of school and be professionally skinny and drunk
He keeps saying he loves me and ruining perfectly good conversations.
Are you seriously picking mariokart over a blowjob? nott to sound like a bitch but seriously?
you have no chance. her best friend is a human abstinence poster.
All I did this weekend was get my life in order. I feel like I wasted my time.
And why did 3 people fail to stop me from literally getting a piggy back ride from the bar to his apartment?!
I walked into the kitchen and twelve of them were just staring at the oven. Freshmen are the weirdest drunks ever.
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
well i mean she can't stop a weed based friendship...its like a trying to stop a bomb or a really fast train...
Something about being drunk at 1pm chasing seagulls on the beach while it's raining is very calming
Guess who just made out with Sloth from The Goonies!
Know anything about my roof collapsing last night?
Tequila.
He also deemed that the fact that I couldn't log into Netflix was not an emergency. He's wrong.
I'm hungover from the 8pm vodka and still drunk from the 5am beer.
I don't wanna SLEEP with him, I want to start bar fights with him. There's a difference.
Randomize
