its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
half the nation just spent an hour watching a balloon fly around. we are officially the dumbest fucking country.
Just got a blowjob to the theme of Bohemian Rhapsody as the sun was rising. I should just kill myself because ill never top this moment.
I just used celery as a chaser. That's the level of my refrigerator.
Why does it always end up with me crying in my car.
I think rescheduling my finals around when Im going to be hungover is responsible
My relaxing drive may end up as a surprise bootycall in Pittsburgh. Don't try to stop me.
I don't know but this 12 year old kid is soaking up all of our bad morals like a super tampon on the second day of my period
I'm just sayin. If your gonna cheat go for someone TOTALLY different. Fucking her twin would be a waste.
Yeah I mean I think I need to stop living off of snacks and alcohol
My favorite part of you downing a fifth of fireball in my apartment by yourself is the shot glass in the sink. It's like you attempted moderation and were just like "Fuck this."
Out of all the things you could eat off of my tits you choose lettuce? Thats so healthy. Yuck.
Just realized I chose a bacon cheeseburger over sex last night
He's like a sexy bearded lumberjack who likes wine.. I can't lose..
Hold on gotta plunge the sink
Is that a euphemism for sex? Either way, have a good time
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