I want to walk on stilts...naked
ur penis kinda felt like a vagina to me
You need to tell your booty call to take some sudafed or something. I swear I thought you were humping Kermit the frog last night
he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
She was crying, alone at a college bar. It would have been rude NOT to try and show my penis to her.
I hid drinks in her bathroom closet.... like a squirrel... a squirrel who knew she was going to get cut off soon
It was smashing those cupcakes into my face that did it. Junk food and I don't mix.
She wasnt impressed wen i brought a guy for her back with me, a 3am impromptu sperm donor is not a gd birthday present. Im a bad gf.
This guy needs to come out; I can feel him sucking my dick from across the room.
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
I got to see a stripper that did magic last night. It was glorious.
He gave me the award for most entertaining blow job. That should count for something.
Did you know they have a bouncer at Applebee's because I did not
Have you ever wondered if we are just made up characters in someone's head? You'll have to forgive me right now I think I have 7 thumbs
all i remember is arguing with the chick that yahoo was better than google
all you were doing was yelling YAHOOOOO in her face
so i won
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