yeah...it smells like an asshole would smell if someone ate sewage.
It will be a surprise...all i can say is stripper clown
His mom walked into the kitchen smiling, made a scotch on the rocks, hit my bong, and told us goodnight enthusiastically. He's suddenly more appealing to me.
It doesn't matter if I tell the story beginning to end or end to beginning, the story still starts with a random girl blowing me in the bathroom.
Screw it. I'll show up in a white dress with a sign that says " I fucked the groom and it wasn't that great."
You just kept insisting that you and the homeless man went way back, and that you bonded over how cold you both were.
It's not an office Christmas party until your boss confesses his undying love for your boyfriend...
Your topless pictures make me question reality
I got pushed into some bald man in the pit and spent the next few minutes with my face against his head. Man I love ecstasy.
He's against "violent sex" cause apparently my body is "sacred". Like dude I'm about to tell you about blowing your brother just so you'll fuck me like an animal Jesus Christ....
I need drugs. Hard drugs. Today. Not tomorrow. Today. Something relaxing.
We just had sex in the shed while having a conversation about cheeseburgers...so that's how my day is going
So I was laying on the couch reading a book and he texted me. All I saw was the image of him spitting on my vagina last night in the moonlight. I gagged.
So I got a text from him saying "jacking off...thinking of you" I think I'm going to get a restraining order
She kept telling me that it pissed her off that i expect people to make out with me...then she made out with me. Win?
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