reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
I think I just need to sleep with both of them to see which I want to date.
You just went from promiscuous to slut in 3.2 seconds.
just peed in the tub. didnt notice the passed out drunk guys there until a minute in
You kept hugging the big bouncer & feeling the other ones beard
Had to crawl to the kitchen this morning cuz I was too hung over but really wanted fruity pebbles. yes. I ate fruity pebbles on the kitchen floor.
She said I was the most selfish person in bed she's ever been with and she's fucked Tucker Max.
When we were done making out, some guy ran into the room yelling, "I'll save you Brandon! I'll save you!"
I'll always remember 2012 as the year I hooked up with countless girls who had the sides of their heads shaved.
Just rolled up a joint with a cop standing right beside me. He just told us to not leave behind any garbage or empties. God I love canadian camping
dude ur drinkin a beer not ta capri sun. lose the straw
I can check masterbating in China off the bucket list.
You wanna see what happens when frozen corn meets an unhappy Andrew's face?
Remember how I made that resolution to remain celibate for 6 months? Well, I just broke that
You literally made that 4 hours ago...
I just saw your mom take a body shot off an undergrad, please tell me you're somewhere near by.
Drunk me is having trouble keeping up with sober me's standards
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