So..he puked on my dress and I had to walk back to the dorms in his little sisters Scooby Doo pajamas.
I don't know you.
so that guy from last night texted me saying i flashed half of my extended family last night. so classy.
it's amazing how much more room there is in my purse when I'm not carrying alcohol in it
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
this is hardly the first time i've been told i'm dressed "too suggestively" for 7 in the morning.
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
I dare you try and top an Eiffel tower full of Margarita
They glued all of the ceiling tiles shut.
oh my god. you caused complete remodeling to a college campus that you don't even go to
You know it's been a good thanksgiving when you pee all over your own hands.
No one ever gets any after sleeping with her. She is like the broken mirror of hookups, enjoy 7 years of blue ball. Don't say I didn't warn you
you realize you insisted on them having a dance off to korean music to determine who takes you home?
This may have to wait till tomorrow. I smoked so my back wouldn't hurt and I overshot relaxed by like 4 hits casually
the other day i was so high i found pages and pages of pictures of HD hamburgers and patriotic music. bong rips for merica.
he went down on me to a drake song and now i think i need a penicillin shot
Yes. He better. Or I will shave a penis into his beard while he sleeps.
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