He's either a really good actor or an actual prince, I'm fine with both so I'll sleep with him.
I am wrecking havoc on the skinny girls by going home with the big one. She is taking me to see her dog now.
I'll even give you a complementary welcome blowjob.
Hey, remember when Hot Stuff played in the back of the ambulance? Or no, cause of your concussion...
Visiting Houston was a good decision for my penis.
Hahaha idk what's worse your life or my hangover.
idk the fact that her roommate had a sign that said "enter without knock, exit without cock" makes me really NOT want to go steal her pot.
3 2 1 whiskey
My liver appreciates your vow of avoiding matrimony
my birth father cheated on his wife with my birth mother. it's literally in my blood to be a home wrecker.
Your penis caused this!
I need a sign that says “please don’t make plans with me if I’ve had two or more drinks. I will regret them. I will have bitter feelings towards you. Then I will cancel and feel guilty.”
So, I can officially cross "getting eaten out in a church confession booth" off my bucket list.
Hello! Time means nothing. Good morning! I have a vague idea of what day it is.
It is Muednethiday, March 34th, in the Year of Our Lord Joe Exotic 3099.
Normally getting fucked up with the owner and suggesting he motorboat me wouldn’t help my chances of a promotion, but this is 2020 and he definitely enjoyed it
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