it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
I don't know how this happened but I got an email thanking me for being a Waffle House regular. HOW DO THEY KNOW?? Maybe I need to stop going there shitfaced.
Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
My tally is now official: I have been drunk every weekend since 2008. Cheers.
I was arrested last night for attempting to flee and elude. I wasn't really trying to run from the police. I was drunk and lost in the woods. I thought it was pretty obvious when I was waving at them from my puddle of puke that I wasn't really hiding.
I cant believe they held hands while getting simultaneous bjs
Roommate is eating a chimichanga, watching Dr Doolittle 2 and weeping. His Tuesday hangovers make me feel better about my life.
He walked into the bar right as I was licking the shotglass clean. We made eye contact for way too long..
my favorite homeless guy just told me I drive like Batman, achievement unlocked
ETSY JUST SENT ME AN EMAIL WITH THE SUBJECT "SUMER ROMANCE" I'M BEYOND FUCKING DONE
I was desperate and wasn't about to let my cereal get soggy so I ate it on the toilet. Don't let me repeat last night.
I walked in on him fucking her whilst she ate skittles. I saw things no one should see, but I did get your bra back. You owe me.
I just found a piece of dried shredded carrot on my bed
He has fairy lights round his bed.. And played Jamie cullum when we had sex... Hes batting for the other team right?
My drug dealer just told me goodnight...I still don't know his name. But I guess you can say we've moved to the next step.
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