He insisted on sleeping in my bed. Had he taken all of my obvious hints I would have sucked his dick. He only wanted to snuggle. My world has been turned upside down.
we were boning in the bathroom when her boyfriend came upstairs. I wish i could remember what happened next more clearly, because it had to have been hilarious
This weekend is gunna be a fucking shitshow. I don't even wanna know how many dicks will end up inside of me
just found out I caught the bouquet at the wedding. I win for being the drunkest yet most functional bridesmaid.
I feel a bullet train of disappointment headed in your direction.
I just ate a dove chocolate and the wrapper said "chocolate: always your valentine" WHAT KIND OF JACKASS WRITES THESE AND WHY MUST THEY MOCK ME?
I'm not drinking anymore...and by that, I mean until St. Patrick's Day.
Like, what's the customary waiting period to hookup with your newly single ex that you never stopped hooking up with?
For my birthday I want you to get me in bed with Donald Trump. That is all. You have 3 months
Haha he puts me in a mood mix of annoyed and... "just get in my pants"
And the night ended with some random dude pissing on a car in a vain attempt to find a proper bathroom. We, the drunk, salute you, sir!
.As long as you're some how patriotic with your sexual escapades, I can support it.
I need my daily rules like rule one don't put your dick in the vacuum cleaner
Dude I just realized i did a camper walk of shame in front of amish people. I should have asked for cheese and a home made pie to cover it up. Im just lost shopping in amish country nothing to see here
What's with guys asking if I wanna "kick it" like I'm some fucking 19 year old
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