I have to look really hot tonight because my personality is going to suck.
She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
We need to start having sex underwater more often.
mimosa in my stainless steel water bottle. going green is not that bad.
honestly I asked the same thing when we had our slip n slide and margarita party
Dude. The girls called me over to see what they had in their dorm. They snuck in a pigeon in a cardboard box. They named it Quincey. They swear they're sober.
Hahah fuuuck, bag pipers played around me while I threw up. Literally
That chick who made out with a door is here. Want her number??
His penis has been a bonding mechanism beyond comparison.
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
His new place is a molesden. Like a hole in the ground. It's frightening how oddly private it is.
It rubs the lotion on it's foreskin...
Tim and I found you a 5ish and asked how you were doing with the breakup. All you said was "i can't words"
GETTING HORNY AT RANDOM IS REALLY FUCKING INCONSIDERATE.
I found them in the bathroom trying to wrap an American flag around Steve's dick. I didn't bother to ask questions.
Can I put tequila in the fish bowl? I think he wants to party too
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