OMFG BINX FROM HOCUS POCUS IS MCGEE IN NCIS!!!!!!!! most. epic. realization. ever.
I know we didn't hook up because i was still wearing my fanny pack in the morning
I came downstairs to find I had missed the 3some on my kitchen floor but not the pukefest or ER trip after it. This is what happens when the voice of reason is otherwise occupied
stripped for him at 3am on my childhood playground and used the swing set as a pole.
I feel as though I could trust her, I mean she did tell me she was married before we had sex.
Turns out getting tied up to two door handles and forced to repeatedly cum is actually a really good ab workout.
We're like Siamese twins, but joined at the genitals.
No more margaritas for you. Also, tequila should be reclassified as a hallucinogen.
sometimes a perk of being a drug dealer is amazon gift cards. who knew?
the shoes thing blows my mind idk how the fuck i did that and im also missing 4 of my birth control pills like did i drunkenly decide to overload my body with estrogen
Yesterday I went home with one shoe, today I go home with three. Fucking win.
I had mediocre parking lot sex last night so the night wasn't a complete bust.
Why do we always have to be the people who get blamed for animal intoxication incidents?
What's the protocol for doing tequila shots at a baseball game when you're chaperoning for a church group? You know, hypothetically.
He's a douche. But I like the way he chokes me.
Randomize
