quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
Important life lesson - flammable and inflammable mean the same thing
This exeeds the amount of high I planned on being.
I can't do a walk of shame with a sombrero full of baby chickens
Can we dedicate this weekends marathon sexcapades to all the haters?
3 guesses about who had to still-drunkenly facilitate a fire drill at 2:40am because freshmen can't handle microwave popcorn.
My month off booze swimsuit season diet plan is working well. Plus I'm learning so much about my house, did you know a girl named Meagan lives here?
i'd say i'm about at weeping-uncontrollably-in-a-puddle-of-my-own-tears-and-urine level
I'm thinking about slathering myself with peanut butter and going to the dog park. What's the worst that could happen?
I just text my one night stand Happy Easter on her way home...now would be a good time for the lord to smite me.
Worst. Date. Ever. He peeled a layer of bread off his mini burger buns because they had "too many carbs".
so like what it comes down to is do I wanna look like a boss ass bitch or do I wanna masturbate.
I just got called the stable friend. This makes me super uncomfortable
It's technically 2016 but since I haven't gone to bed I'm still counting it as 2015, so I'm gonna drink all the alcohol in my house so tomorrow I can become the better version of myself that I'll be for 5 minutes.
I’m going to lick a fucking door knob when this shit is all over
Probably Waffle House
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