lets hang out tonight and do stupid stuff.
Dating you for 6 months was stupid enough. But thanks.
I just threw up while getting a haircut. I'm never trying to accomplish stuff with a hangover again.
she gave him a mild concussion from throwing him against the wall in an attempt to dance with him. gotta love monday nights at the sandbar.
i actually have a tan line from him holding my boob while we were sunbathing
I don't have a choice really. It's either lose 15 lbs by Halloween, or I'm going as a giant banana.
he said something along the lines of "fish can smell fear"
Upon further investigation it turns out it wasn't blood, but chocolate frosting from the cupcake I shoved in my pocket to "save for later"
He is gay. There is no bi when you have a manhunt AND you are an art major. That's like a unicorn without a horn, it just isn't possible.
The trainer from the tech college told me that I would pass the first aid course so long as I turned up sober. Challenge accepted
BTW send me your address and size of condoms you wish your lover was-- "if you build it, they will come"
I don't know if we can compare high school reunions anymore. The keg stands started before 7.
It feels so wrong having a picture of my tits next to a picture of my daughter.
Ahh yes. I lost my pants and swimming suit and phone charger. And I've found out who has them all even while hungover. Successful day. Nice party too.
God does not give you boobs that amazing to not share them with your friends
Nothing much. Just taking shots of tequila before I go get a bikkini wax. You?
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