I want to walk on stilts...naked
thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
you knoww youre high when you are just as concerned as the contestants on ultimate cake off as they move their 250 lbs cake over the ramp
Which is scary since we both think with our vaginas
Questioning the dried heart shaped nutella on my boobs. Valentines day has begun.
DDing is such a bittersweet job, just got the entire history of this girls hookup career
professor came back from spring break missing a tooth
Some girl at the bar was showing us her chipped tooth as a pick up line.
Antibacterial soap and prayers does not for spermicide make
Blow jobs in the hobby lobby parking lot, oh lawd there gonna pray for me when they review those tapes ...
They put me in room 420 every time and I take bubble baths and smoke in the room and they bring food TO MY BED
HE BEAT A GUY WITH NOTHING BUT RAZZLE DAZZLE AND HIS FABULOUSNESS
You started yelling about vegans ruining the world. Because we drove past some cows eating grass.
Dude, you fell into a tree, and both of the tables, AND the window well... Resilient aren't you?
Did you clean my apartment?
I thought it was a dream, I'm sorry
Please stay more often
Randomize
