woke up and she was making me crepes. definitely not the last time i fuck a culinary student
mom and dad sent me an easter basket full of beer pong supplies again.
Oddly enough when I decided to stop whoreing myself out... I lost most of my companionship.
im proctoring the SATs right now and im still drunk from last night. i really wanna tell these kids that this fucking test doest mean shit and they will just be constantly drunk once in college.
No one knows who he is but he hasn't missed a shot in beer pong yet. He's dressed as lance armstrong and is tearing shit up.
Has now officially visited every ER in this city in one semester.
she was using bread to soak up the vodka off the floor then proceeded to eat it.
I just feel as thought we should spend the day in which we celebrate relationships the same as how we started them. Drunken hook ups.
I have no idea. There are 6 asians singing hey soul sister to me right now.
Basically, I'm sure one day I'll look back on this part of my life and be ashamed....
Like the fear of satan was put into my heart when I saw him put that sandwich on the WOODEN BENCH
MY BUTT IS BIG ENOUGH FOR AN ANACONDA AND HE DOESNT GET TO ENJOY IT TOUGH SHIT
What the hell did you do last night?
I embarrassed myself, my family, name, and possibly my country.
Do you think if I had a tempurpedic bed he would still be able to feel me fingering myself after we have sex?
long story short... we may or may not have lost your car.
Randomize
