About to do something stupid. You'll be my call. Bring bail money.
you were convinced that if all her tampons were gone her period would stop, so you started eating them.
There's been so much talk around your vagina it's like a local celebrity
I wasn't expecting a boner of this magnitude
Which is scary since we both think with our vaginas
What's the policy for hitting on a girl at a funeral? She seems more bored than sad.
thank god we only have to drink eggnog and rum once a year. It taste like shit.
Woke up naked next to Alex and he was braiding my hair and then commented on how healthy my hair was. I don't even know anymore..
I'm going to have to include Angry Orchard in my thesis acknowledgements
lesbians are really intense tho, she made me take her eye makeup off and told me she was going to eat me for breakfast
Anybody can graduate from college sober. You try it while being stoned every day for the last three years. 2.75 baby.
Living alone for four weeks has given me unrealistic expectations of pantslessness.
Appearently I went across the hall last night demanding to ride my neighbors moose... How much did I drink?
excused from jury duty. THAT hungover...
I'M HANGING OUT WITH THE DRUG DEALER UPSTAIRS JUST SO I CAN STEAL HIS WIFI PASSWORD, I HOPE Y'ALL LOVE ME.
Randomize
