the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
Did you REALLY have to twitter about our sex last night?
so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
Im at a strip club, and the dancer just farted into my face. The bad part about that is I could taste the wings I bought her earlier
so the sex was amazing up until the point where she said "wow, you're even better than your dad!"
I just got asked if I have a rule for sleeping with people. Like they have to buy me dinner first etc...
On that note, do I have a rule?
Theres been so much buildup for our genitals to meet, one or both of us is sure to be disappointed.
Who ever is in the stall next to me is crying and it sounds like they're doing massive amounts of blow too. Finals for your ass huh.
He was literally going down on me and giving me a foot rub AT THE SAME TIME. What more can I ask for?
It is not if she takes a guy home Karaoke night. It is how many.
Watched an eagle swoop down and eat a rabbit on my walk back from your place, literally too high to handle this right now
Was just messaged by someone in a Power Ranger suit on OkCupid... Figured you would approve
I don't know what song to play at my bong's funeral!
First poop in my apartment for the summer, officially settled in. :)
please don't forget about the bread in the toilet i am absolutely not dealing with that
Randomize
