Your mom can still drink beer standing on her head! Talk to you tomorrow :)
Mom wtf!?
and then you went into taco bell without pants...and surprisingly you weren't the only one there without pants
You kept telling that ginger girl, "it's not your fault, it's not your fault, it's not your fault."
I just paid a homeless man $20 for the dragon ball Z shirt he was wearing. I need to stop drinking
Then we all started singing, "Our house, in the middle of the street. Our house, fucks a lot of freshman meat". It was magical.
i find it unbelievable that you didn't think it was necessary to intervene when i started letting people autograph my body with spray tan.
Considering the fact that you wouldn't give me my cat last night because he was "destined for broadway", yeah, I'm accusing you of stealing him
He came in my nose, then said it would help clear my sinuses.
You can do it. What doesn't kill us just drives us to drink
This is one of those moments when you do what I say or I come stalk you down like a gazelle.
What I've learned from glowsticks: glowing things are not safe to eat
I think we ended 5-7 relationships as well this weekend...so another good stat
Okay, the good news, found Jared, all IDs accounted for, Jack is meeting us at yours with your requested the delivery. The bad news: Lost Alice, banned from Stages, possibly fucked my TA in the bathroom.
she has no right to get mad at us for drinking during the wedding. she's the one that chose the bridesmaid dresses with pockets.
I have to start drinking water I have a drug test to fail at 1:40
Randomize
