google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
i'm at a party where swedish girls are dumping laundry detergent on each other because it glows in blacklight. this is awesome
Andrew is trying to convince me that i took your virginity. Please tell me he is lying.
define virginity.
Ah, I knew it wouldn't be long before my boobs were introduced into the conversation.
Ask her if said friend is decent looking or a wildabeast. Need to know if I need to top these 8 coronas off with a little tequila.
It was cool in an 'oh shit I'm gonna get arrested' way.
I wasnt going to have sex with him until i ran into his gf at chipotle. It was like the gods were saying "Go ahead. Shes already had her burrito for the day"
you're expensive. Idk about all this. What happened to free make outs?
Sobriety and mild self-respect
I'll always remember you bringing me that pregnancy test in the middle of an ice storm. Best friend ever.
I'd say tonight was pretty successful. I rode an iron horse naked and sweet talked myself out of an MIC while wearing a bra filled with four loko.
Not every day do you see a hooker getting arrested at noon. Just kidding, we live in Reno.
Guess who was PASSED OUT ON A BMW. I shit you not
Stop it right now
This time face forward
You ruined a cute cat because your lack of horniness
Remember that time you puked in the middle of wendy's?
Yeah, why?
The staff still remembers me for cleaning it up. Thanks for the free frosty and fries
Plus he probably didn't want to be at home, alone... Jacking off on the big screen without you there to lend a helping hand. I mean, let's be honest. It's not fun if it's not a little weird.
Randomize
