My dad just told me he used to masturbate to cat woman...he then proceeded to beat my brother in beer pong and wont let me play...
Two words Indian burn...
What did she think it was, a shake weight?
He came in asked for the bathroom and came out 10 minutes later dripping wet took his redbull and left.
There is tupperware vodka. thats right tupperwares full of vodka. best leftovers ever
last night we were having sex and i didn't care if i got off. i was just holding up my hand behind his head so i could look at my new ring. i think he knew.
Did you know there's no emoticon to really tell you that I just consumed a magic brownie?
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
How the fuck you gonna play love don't cost a thing in a strip club?
He keeps asking the karaoke guy to play let it go from frozen so he can sing it in a falsetto
I just got a free round of shots. Don't you DARE fuckin tell me that A-cup boobs can't get you good things.
It also means I'm watching porn with mario earphones so i can hear. Possibly the best way to mastrabate EVER
Is there such thing as a tasteful dick pic? I think I just got one if they exist.
I think I'm actually too depressed to do drugs, wow.
Okay, maybe filling water balloons with vodka was not our best idea.
Omg. I meet up with you guys with bodily fluids on my chin ONE time and suddenly I'm a whore.
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