wtf
I'm guessing you saw the bathroom?
Intervention is following me on twitter.
wow.
The smiley face on that pregnancy test is so damn taunting. It's like it's laughing at me for my poor choices.
I'd say this is worse than that time when I realized that my favorite bath toy growing up was my Mom's douche bottle.
Dudeeeee, i ordered strippers for my party.
I ordered a moonbounce.
Fuck, you win.
I wish orgasms lasted as long as the pain from rug burn
I've gone to the bathroom 3 times. And forgot to pee. 3 times. Let's say we call it a night, I need to be found. I see a fish tank by the bar and some stairs.
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
Well apparently I'm no fun since I won't have a threesome with him and my mother.
I can't find my underwear or one of my shoes but he baked me cookies for breakfast.
Why is there a condom in the dishwasher...
Discovered a freckle on my clitoris. What have you done today?
I knew it was going to be a good night when my mom said "Have fun, be safe...wait, do you need any weed for tonight?"
Kid got so high from the brownies he forgot his own name. Welcome to college.
I seriously feel like I just crawled out from under a shit covered rock. I'm NEVER drinking like that again...well, not for alteast a solid 3 hours.
Randomize
