i'm returning your mother's day gift to finance my alcoholism over the next week.
Now would be a great time to stop wondering " Who let the dogs out" and go to sleep
Did I tell you that you looked cute last night? I looked at the pictures. I lied.
I feel like i made up for not being able to drink on St Pattys Day, Mardi Gras, and last years Cinco De Mayo. That hungover.
terrible decisions. terrible terrible terrible decisions.
who'd you have sex with.
fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
Well pretty sure I lost 3 of my best friends in one week. Remember when I said I wasn't sure if I was gonna be a better person or a more despicable one in 2012. Despicable wins.
I was wearing the shirt my little sister got for her birthday when the condom broke. I finally have it back to her and told her it was bad luck
When one of my seniors asked "Rough night?" I realized my poor decisions involving Tuesday night drinking did not go unnoticed.
these people use weed stems as birthday cake candles. I'm never coming home
This girl just said she was late for class because she was having sex.
AND I HAVE A NICE COCK! A STRIPPER TOLD ME SO IT MUST BE TRUE!
Dude, I wish I could live my entire life blacked out.
As soon as he called me 'darling' in that Scottish accent... my pants just dropped.
Where are you guys?
Drunk
Randomize
