I thought it was weird that her dad told me to finish and get out after he walked in on us. I like him
best thing about halloween? there are pumpkins to puke in EVERYWHERE!
At this point it has been so long i wouldnt know what a dick was if it slapped me in the face.
halfway through eating me out he goes 'oh that reminds me i have to buy fish for good friday'
the head trauma was worth the blowjob.
God damn him and his understanding ways and little hip muscle things.
Some guy in lab is humming along to a Sara Barrilles song. Or maybe I'm just hearing the song echoing in his huge, gaping vagina.
I can dry shave vagina like a champ
there is a guy passed out on top of me and i don't know what to do. help if you're awake? was anyone anyone expecting someone? maybe he found the wrong room?
Sorry I didn't answer your call last night, I was peeing on the driveway.
Find a vagina and bring it to me. Like feeding a tiger.
I feel like the universe head butted me in my balls. That hungover.
.... My lady balls. Cuz I'm a lady.
but I'm still not sure how you became more and more fluent in Spanish the drunker you got
We fucked to Bonnie Tyler in my car. He's the one.
Fucking a younger guy is now a game of odds. The chance that he gives me corona virus is outweighed by the evening of orgasms I know he’ll give me.
Randomize
