dude, you're never picky with who you hook up with, have a little dignity
nah man, chicks are like pokemon, gotta catch \'em all
Guess who has two thumbs, loves booze, and just dug half a handle of rumb out of a trash can in a freshmen dorm? This classy gentleman. Good day to you sir!
I'm taking last night back. It officially didn't happen. Tell your friends.
i perioded on his leg
on. his. leg.
I had his cock in my mouth and he still wouldn't shut up about Star Wars.
I was really stoned haha. I had sex with her while I cooked scrambled eggs.
I am downstairs in the bar now having a beer...actually I ordered two beers and placed one across from me in front of an open chair. I did this for appearance sake, so nobody knew I was double fisting all alone. I'm getting hungry now. I'm thinking of ordering two meals just to keep appearances up.
I think 2012 will be the year I purposely put myself in awkward situations. Much like 2011 but really trying this time. Like fucking the little sister of a girl I already fucked and dating a chick that lives with her ex. It could be awesome or horrible.
Whos eating a bunch of acid and watching fireworks tomorrow? This guy. Thats who.
Got a handy at the foam party. Took girl home. Banged her. Thanked her for foam handy. "what handy?"
I wish my bank account would intervene on my life choices.. $200+ in alcohol in 2 weeks and a $40 McDonald's bill is a cry for help.
Wanna go on a picnic?
... by picnic I mean wanna sit on a blanket and drink with me?
We get up to three toppings. Dignity is not one of them.
We walked around last night for hours saying nothing but nom nom nom and barking at each other.
Tanner. All u drink. 10 bckaa. Locked in Porto potty outside. Constructed area. Main strrrreeeett. Fuck. Help. Pleese
Randomize
