I need a booty call who doesn't know my boyfriend or my friends.
I dinstinctly remember making out to "I believe I can fly" and waving my arms like a bird to the beat.
Well he asked to have a sober hang out so i guess that constitutes as a date in college
when i start to cry when i lose at mario kart is when you should put me to bed
How do you say "I always respond to booty calls" when you give a guy your number?
If I can't get a one-legged man to love me, what the hell chance do I have with a NORMAL guy???
She's grinding on a deaf black man and I'm the interpreter.
I enjoyed our heart to heart in the trunk on the way to the stripclub
i just complicated the hell out of my summer by fucking him this early on
I just realized I'm the burger in your burger and steak anology. Very disconcerting.
I'm a drunk white girl and my ancestors were drunk white girls, if we apologized our species would be extinct.
I consider my hand a solid 5. So if I'm dipping below a 7.5, I might as well go with old faithful.
just so you know they found you begging for money at the L station. What the fuck did you drink last night?
I'm "drunk text both siblings" drunk.
You know how fear has a smell? Well turns out shame has a smell too. It's Pina colada flavored anal grease.
Randomize
