i just sent my parents are gone come over I have condoms to my mom because Derek changed my numbers while I was passed out
I love watching the kids I sold drugs to score touchdowns
will emailing you the 64 kama sutra positions I want to try during the 3 days your here turn you on or terrify you?
stopped you just in time from sledding down the roof.
chugging beers on the train. people are staring. I would be offended if it wasn't 8:30
Maybe it's cuz you slapped him with a pancake last night
he was holding the bottle like a running back yelling for security and the national guard as he was being tackled
I have had more skin than food in my mouth the last three days
I'm not sure any amount of coworker judgement will keep me from eating oatmeal with dinosaur eggs.
In tonight's episode of Travis' Fucked up Sex Life, Travis breaks into a building at Tulane to have sex with an attractive Asian man.
I need dunkaroos back in my life.
I'm excited for him and his new girlfriend. I'm just going to miss his penis is what I'm saying.
Do you think I could use my teacher of month Award to get free drinks?
I saw a picture of a baby and it reminded me to take my birth control. Priorities
It was a "have 911 on speed dial" kinda night
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