I have glitter on my penis. Do you know anything about this?
So... I just got back from the chiropractor... And he said I have a slight neck injury from head banging too much. Fuck yes.
and he thought i came like four times in 2 mins. my leg just kept cramping up
My friend is getting herself a tramp stamp that says "property of the half blood prince".
How come the only thing we can do right in our lives is drugs?
your tears are not going to buy me drinks...
Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
how bad would it be if i made his twitter my home page?
We're going to play a drinking game. It's called "Senior Year of College."
My mom's 50 year old alcoholic friend just told me about how she was more whoreish then us at our age. Challenge accepted.
You know how there are wrinkles in your brain? What if they were filled with potato chips? That's kind of how my head feels now.
If you haven't gone to the store yet. Can you PLEASE get me some clippers my balls will thank you later
I don't know what was up he just kept sitting in his chair smoking weed and watching home movies all night it was weird as fuck.
NO MAKING MOLDS OF ANYONES GENITALS
Fine. Suck all the fun out of life.
I visited the library for the first time in my college career tonight and I got laid. I think I'm gonna come back...
Randomize
