How do I say to her "Have you eaten mango lately because my penis had an allergic reaction"
there should be a national holiday dedicated to how high i am
It had been so long since my last time that it was easily a double helping of stomach pancakes. I think she was mildly impressed.
The kid taped his penis down so that he wouldn't get a boner while dancing with girls. Oh these middle school man whores never cease to amaze me.
I'll just get wasted and start throwing myself at men. Someone's bound to take the bait
I know I'm not the first to fuck in a park but i deserve props for doing it at 3pm. On a sunny day might I add.
You know you need to take better care of yourself when shaving reminds you of sheep shearing...
I'd google it, but I don't really want my search history to say, "Name for masturbating on a flight."
Well, I guess that's how life goes for my dad. One minute you're walking with your cooler on the afterglow of a Lynyrd Skynyrd concert, the next you find your grown son choking out a drunk redneck against your pickup truck.
I just picked up my phone and one shoe from the man mowing the lawn next to the ice rink. He found them in a tree.
I ate her out in the bathroom and she did my makeup. Man i love being a lesbian
well, you know. whores of a feather.
Some guy just walked past the bus stop in a lab coat and with a samurai sword and case...
She was crying and pulled the collar of her shirt up to blot the tears. And then she just kept her head there. And stopped crying. "My boobs are just too amazing for me to cry." her words not mine please help she's still in that position
It's sunday night and I just went to the store to buy cookie dough and condoms, I'm so proud of myself.
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