State Street has never looked so beautiful than during my walk of shame.
No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
So many bounce houses so little time
it was like i was on a global safari of uncircumcised men
All she does is lay in bed and watch golden girls and masturbate all day...
It's inspiring.
its not a party unless mikie exposes himself
he just asked me for a tag team. like at least let me get changed out of your roommates clothes from last night first...
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
Just found an unopened tied g of coke on the floor in her room... she thinks the maintenance guy dropped it earlier today. This takes the cake for sketchiest apartment.
A part of me realizes this is a bad time to text. But I override it with my awesomeness
How about we just fuck in random places all around campus, and skip the boring relationship part?
At least you didn't have a hemorroid rupture while banging
I did a line of coke with my ex tonight. Talk about memories
As for the other mouse...I don't have any mouse traps so I put a Jell-O shot on the ground. Party hard little dude.
Last night was fun. Sorry I slipped out before you woke up
Also, your parents get up REALLY early. Please thank them for the bagel and travel mug of coffee. Happy Thanksgiving!
Randomize
