didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
Intervention is following me on twitter.
wow.
Stop selling my mother weed! She's annoying as hell when she's stoned.
So there's dick imprints in the peanut butter
I just inadvertently flirted with my coworker's 20-year old son. I've known him since he was 14, yet suddenly he looked different.
You are nothing if not reliable.
you said you wanted to feel how much my penis weighed for educational purposes
be ready to rage tomorrow. like naked ranch dressing rage
I feel like I just lived out a children's book called "The Day I Went to Law School Stoned"
This election needs to be over, im tired of girls asking who im going to vote for mid hookup
Dropping acid was like seeing the whole world as a blank canvas to imagine anything I wanted.
And apparently all you wanted was to watch the sun explode and me take 60,000 dicks to the face.
I'm glad I can share my workout progress with you via my nudes
Of course i made out w him. He was painted green. You know of my secret longing for the Hulk.
we were having a conversation about big dicks and the chick at the table beside us turned to us said "me and my boyfriend just broke up a few days ago. Could you please NOT talk about big dicks"
I take it you're alive?
Mostly. Can't quite control my arms.
I have to hand it to her. In my heyday I took home the 'biggest shitshow of the night' award 9 times out of 10. But I passed the torch on to her last night, and she went skipping merrily far and away with it into the enchanted world of aggressive alcoholism. Is this 30?
Randomize
