So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
Ur dog is a babe magnet. Reminds me of me
she was talking to me but i could help but stare at the extremely long hairs on her boobs. then she says, "your looking at the hair on my boobs aren't you"
We learned a valuable lesson from last night. You can, in fact, order bacon on a Big Mac.
woke up in my one night stand's bed and barfed all over her floor. she came back from the bathroom, looked at the vomit, looked at me and said "normally i'd tell you to clean it and get the fuck out, but i remember the sex was good, so i'll let it go." Score.
I lost control in the snow and hit a parked car. I went into our building to get a pen and paper to leave a note and when I came back the car was gone and there was a hot girl there. I used the pen and paper to get her number.
The beer is more important than you right now.
We're too lazy too send a pic of out balls. Just assume this is a pic of our balls and respond accordingly.
He told me i had to sleep under his bed. He said it would be my castle.
remember that guy i blew in a bathroom in barcelona, i just blew him again in rome. lightning does strike twice.
I was ashamed to still be in my green tank this morning, but there's a guy here in full on bright green pants and a green blazer. He looks like the lucky charms guy stretched out at drunker than usual. Now, I fade into the background.
Worst luck of my entire life. Came in my own mouth
Took three klonopin and turned all my jeans into jorts. I miss you
and everyone will high five me and girls will approach me offering blowjobs
He told me he sees me like a sister then 10 mins later tried to make out with me.
Randomize
