Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
He left an unopened 12 pack of beer by my bed. I guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex..
Well, I'm eating cake, watching wedding videos of people I don't know, and crying. Clearly I'm a vision of mental health today
My roommate is on the phone with one of her friends trying to figure out how she threw up IN her pants. I'm not sure whether to burst out laughing or direct her towards Plan B.
It's hard to be a gentleman when a girl pauses her karaoke version of "a whole new world," and proceeds to tell the entire bar that she wants your cock in her mouth.
he ate me out on his front porch at dawn. i orgasmed when the sun began to rise. most romantic morning booty call ever.
OK am i seriously the only one who thinks Cocaine Tuesdays is a bad idea?
Woah there. I lasted a semester and a fourth of college not having sex. trust me when i say keeping my virginity was an obstacle course of olympic proportions.
The virgin olympics. I would win the gold. For America.
Would you and/or him be willing to dress up like the phantom, sing me music of the night and then bone the shit out of me? this is important.
This is your morning-after text courtesy of your very confused friend!! :) To discuss "what the hell were you trying to tell me last night," press 1. To laugh over your drunken antics, press 2. To pretend like none of it even happened (or to respond with concurrent confusion because you have no idea), press 3.
I need to be more functional. That doesn't mean I'm going to drink less, I just need to wake up and shit
I'm going to avoid eye contact because my old high school English teacher is not who I feel like seeing after I just had a dick in my mouth
no we just smoked too much weed and listened to the tarzan soundtrack. phil collins is amazing
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
That guy u hooked me up with kept calling me james while were doing it...
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