Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
Jon and Kate are totally playing with my emotions.
i mean i care more about their marriage then my own parents
Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
we put the last xanax in the middle and played hungry hungry hippos to see whod get it
fair is fair
morning after pill = breakfast in bed
This morning two of his housemate threw confetti over me, started singing and handed me a make shift trophy out of cereal boxes and beer cans that said 'Harry's Virginity' on it. Fucking brilliant!
He turned me into a screamer. Guess I'm really not a lesbian.
Happy 420. I woke up to a girl smoking weed and dragging me out of bed. Chemistry makes so much sense high.
No celebraish? But today's the day that Jesus, Bruce Springsteen, and a flock of bald eagles came down from the heavens in fighter jets with electric guitars and M-16s a blazon, saying "Hey America, fuck the Red Coats, it's time to party"
bitch i am allowed to be rude i just fought cold hard porcelain with my face
I SWEAR TO ALL THAT IS HOLY I HAVE NEVER WIPED MY GENITALIA ON ANY TYPE OF EMERGENCY RESPONSE VEHICLE!!
You took all of your clothes off and tried to seduce me and while trying to seduce me you decided you were too drunk and passed out.
If I take one more surprise finger up the ass this week there will be hell to pay.
He pulled out the guitar, sat in tub, and took requests while she puked her brains out in the toilet. I think he loves her.
I don't care how many things you caught on fire, it's still not as bad as doing coke and then filming yourself having sex.
Randomize
