guess who came home with a hottie last night
Def drugged
I dont know why I dont listen to you more often. He wont stop texting me. And his signature is "dancing with no panties on"
Don't get me started, it sucks when the one thing you have in common with a girl is not wanting penis inside you.
I wish we had a justin bieber to wanna fuck when we were younger... But noooo we just had hanson
She wanted to test if her costume allows her to still have sex in it. It does
We just stood on the porch wondering how you managed to puke up a whole piece of bologna
all I heard when I woke up this morning was "BONG HITS FOR BREAKFAST" being yelled repeatedly.
I threw up in a mitten on my drive home. Wow.
Virginity is like the pottery barn-you break it, you bought it.
Thanks....I've always wanted my vagina compared to an overpriced coffee table
So feel off my bed lastnight into the trashcan. On the plus side i thought under my bed was a cave and i went exsploring
At 2pm we are having a MANDITORY house meeting about last night. ALL must be in attendance!
I'd like to review the planning and execution of the party to determine how we hosted a naked party, to determine how we can have more.
All I'm saying is that any 24 year old guy who sends me a snapchat from the vantage point of his dick with the caption "hiding behind my weiner" is off my list potentially dateable guys.
Yo this huge scar on my head from the car accident is truly a vag magnet. Probably because I'm telling people I was attacked by a mountain lion and killed it with my bare hands. But hey when life gives you lemons, you use them to get pussy
Now I have to go back and sober fuck him. For science.
I think I fell in love last night
That guy had a face tattoo and was named Cheddar. Please tell me you’re kidding.
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