I just spent a chunk of my Christmas money on Plan B. I don't think that's what my relatives had mind when they said "spend it wisely", but hey, it was a good investment considering the bad life choices i made last night.
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
How do you get a black eye playing beer pong??
I won't drink with you again until you promise to not feed me anymore paper bags
You can't be mad because the taco bell people like me and not you. I'm not the one that puked in front of them.
She is just sitting by the bathroom like a little puppy waiting for a knight in shining armor to take her in there to fuck her. New low?
You need a twittervention. You're better than this.
I received a text promising me sex if I drove to Memphis this weekend. Too bad for my penis that we're watching zombie movies and playing cards.
Sometimes I really think that if... When your stoned you have a catlike ability to just relax in any position
Stumbled across a pregnancy test in my closet. Oh, the freshman year flashbacks..
It's just great that Easter is on 4/20 this year. Now everyone can enjoy the Easter egg hunts. And being around my whole family.
That was just an endearing nickname I called you before. I'm not gonna call you a filthy slut now that you are one, I don't want to hurt your feelings.
I think I had sex with a seagull last night. The window is open and there a feathers everywhere.
Tinder has really served to stimulate the number of sex related demons summonings.
You spilled your drink, and we laughed so hard my boobs popped out of my shirt.
Randomize
