This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
you were grabbing cocks left and right
you literally grabbed sam's dick and said, "who's cock is this?!"
chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
Any time you start making pro wrestling references before 10 PM I know that I'm breaking up a fight between you and some muscled up frat boy you call Hogan.
My doctor just informed me that my food allergies qualify me for a medical marijuana license. I get it on Tuesday. It won't help at all, but my life is awesome!
I wish straight boys touched me the way gay boys do.
just realized we made a drinking game to how many times they say "hakuna matata" in the lion king last night... hello sophomore year.
I'm pretty sure I have a cold now from having sex on the hood of my car in the rain. Worth it? Absolutely.
It's official, there's a sex tape of me floating around some high school
I just got a reminder alert on my phone for an event I titled "Bradley getting stupid high with me in bed." I assume we planned this during the party. I'm down if you are.
Thank you for calling me on to a higher level of debauchery. fuck anyone who says we aren't good for each other
I love spring semester, so many high school girls visiting that think I'm the sexiest man alive just because I'm in college
Aren't you gay?
IT'S NICE TO FEEL WANTED DON'T RUIN THIS FOR ME
We could have casual sex if you want. But I can't offer a bromance to a woman.
You wanted to go find him and we told you to sit down cause you kept stumbling. You yelled " I CAN STAND!! It's the walking part I can't figure out!"
Well I'm missing half a toenail if that's any indication of my night
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