she was mega hot - except for the poop under her fingernails
would you kill someone to have someone deliver pancakes to you when you were high?
i just fucked the bartender on my cruise to get free alcohol. have things gone too far?
If there's ever a time when I've matured to the point that I don't want to look at camera-phone-titties, go ahead and bury me in a shallow grave by the railroad tracks.
She said she's saving anal for marriage cuz she has to save something for her husband...seriously just caught myself lookin at rings.
Just got an email from TMobile. Said they were going to pursue "more qualified" candidates. So this is what rock bottom feels like.
Before he took off his pants he paused and said, "Remember..sometimes great things come in small packages."
Ya,, he does have virgin eyes. Thats a real thing you know...
I'm so hungover all I can do is stare at my curser and hope it starts moving on its own
I would really just like to get laid somewhere that's not on a bathroom floor at this point in my life
Well if homeless lesbian experimenting divorcée is your new M.O., you're gonna need to start drinking more anyway so if that's what it takes to talk about it tomorrow afternoon, bottoms up bitch
Wine and a Lunchable. That would be depressing if it wasn't the pepperoni and mozzarella one. Those are the shit!
dude igloo, 4 foot bong, and 3 grams of blue dream. will you be my eskimo buddy?
You are hungover. Your arguments are irrational an incoherent. We only played twice. Have some Gatorade and take a knee.
I'm really busy with my period
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