I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
We haven't even started dating yet but I already decided I'm going to cheat on her
Think they will judge us if our pre drink is a kiddie pool of jello shots?
if i can get a chik with a dibaetes pump naked a sling certainly isnt going to get in my way
I piss off the neighbors just so I can have someone to compete with.
Dude, the lecture theatre is caving in on me.
And literally 4loko margaritas are callin my name. They're like "Hey girl come on over here I'll make you forget about grades and boys and it'll be a good idea to send everyone 55 snapchats of your cleavage" ok
I wanna fuck that hideous moustache right off your face. get the confetti ready for the festivities
it's not like I want to die, I just want life to stop for a little bit. how does that work?
Never drinking again. Maybe, if our boss gave us more 3-day weekends we would know how to handle ourselves. That was a shit show.
I feel like I'm in high school again. I'm completely sober and I just gave some guy a handjob to completion.
Apparently, im the only one in the world who thinks Larry King is hot.
See I just want a dick that I don`t have to deal with or talk to unless it is inside me. Is that so much to ask for?
seriously i don't trust him. he fed me a hot dog out of a crock pot and gave me moonshine dashed jager bombs.
I really want to stop getting this drunk. I've got the Sunday scaries and it's only Saturday
Randomize
