So..he puked on my dress and I had to walk back to the dorms in his little sisters Scooby Doo pajamas.
I don't know you.
he kept farting in my kitchen and blaming it on the dog. then we went to wendy's and he spent twenty minutes in the bathroom. im pretty sure he shit his pants.
you should have known when you found out he drove a mini cooper not to hang out with him.
just gave him road head on the way home IN A SNOW STORM..good thing we didn't crash or I'd be dead. I DIDN'T HAVE MY SEATBELT ON
clearly you have your priorities straight
just looked in the mirror, I fell asleep with a face mask on. At least drunk me cares that much about the condition of my skin
Well now I have my semen on her headphones
Did you leave your blow razor here? I need it for crafts.
Walk of shame. Stopped at an estate sale on the way back to the house. Old lady pulled a condom wrapper of the back of my hoodie. beat that
So I fucked him. Then I MC Hammer'd to the bathroom, where I did the robot in celebration of my accomplishment. And then I spent 10 mins fixing my toilet. But YOLO.
you grabbed the breathalyzer at dinner, blew a 0.20 and told the waitress you'd eat her ass
the girl next to me was drawing sonic the hedgehog on her exam what the fuck
godspeed
I sat on his face and watched Mean Girls. It was a good date.
apparently I kept repeating I have a to do list this summer and he's on it
did anyone ever come to your door asking about the blood on the floor?
All I could think about was how many vaginas had been on the toliet that I was pukin in
I'm not big on drama but you need to put your pants on and leave.
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