were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
Walk of Shame. In a state park.
that cunt stole my fb status. SHE'S NOT THAT FUNNY
It looks alright. The blow up doll is in the microwave, and she has forks in her ass
I bought a dress specifically for face plant durability... this is how serious I am about my drunk status this weekend
Get to the bar. Power hour leading up to the rapture.
Do you think a former stripper/heroin addict constitutes as a high risk sexual partner?
They sat me on college avenue with a puke bucket and people were mistakenly throwing change in it. Got me enough money take a cab back to my apartment.
The to do list extremely baked self wrote for me last night says "1. Join gym 2. Passport? 3. Join a gym" And then just a drawing of a squid
I couldn't find my shirt this morning so I stole one from his eight year old sister. Slutted up my outfit quite a bit.
It takes a special kind of man to fart REALLY loudly right before entering a woman and still get some. This has been a state of bootytown address.
He was asleep with his head on a windowsill and you were petting his head, then you almost left the kitchen and then went back to pet him some more.
If you could get me there thatd be perfect. I doubt there's extradition on the moon.
All she said to me before going to get another shot was "Damn, I'd eat her out."
I fucked a French man last night. 5 Times. Ashed my cig in his cactus. That later set on fire while we were having sex.
Randomize
