there needs to be a build-a-bong store...
he must have thought the song was "ejacuate on the dance floor"
they got in a fight during sex...she came out yelling and covered in chocolate
I just found out my mom named me after her fake ID from college...
Questioning the dried heart shaped nutella on my boobs. Valentines day has begun.
then he tried to tell me how many times he had seen Scott's dick. his estimate was about 180 times. he thought I didn't understand.
the condom is still stuck, that's what I get for being responsible
Need your help. Dad's drunk and trying to build a still in the basement.
NM he's asleep in a pile of towels. They need to ease people back into Hockey Night in Canada.
i'm covered in glitter and body paint WTF
We're showing the video later bring pizza
I just want to trick people into going on dates with me so they can bring back to their houses and let me use their wifi.
I was going to learn how to knit but I got high instead.
I was having a serious heart-to-heart, and then the weed gummy kicked in.
3 words: harry potter burlesque. My life is so much more awesome than yours right now.
How is it that I can make it to my 8am Friday morning still drunk after passing out the night before...but not to my 9am on Tuesday that I went to bed early for? Irony or karma?
He went three whole days without making a star wars reference, of course he got sex
Randomize
