You can't have hate sex in a hallway!!
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
just took my exes job. there should be an award for how many times I've managed to fuck that girl's life
She has an album entitled "my photography", which consists of about 80 different pictures of a tractor that she took on her cell phone. I'm all for freedom of expression, but come on.
i mean he wasn't bad looking, but i wouldn't have slept with my professor if i knew everyone would get an A
i will be the first lesbian to ever fail women's studies.
Only you would think wine and coffee was an acceptable finals study time mix
I'm mumbling to people and trying not to accidentally shit my pants
I heard him say "bet you won't", look over 10 seconds later and she's blowing him.....looked eloquent under the glow of a camp fire.
Found my underwear in a solo cup. That about sums up this weekend.
It wasn't good. I can tell by the way he fucks me he watched too much porn
Rather than admit to myself I've spent $756 at the bar this month, I'm just going to pretend I gave it to a homeless person...kind of makes me feel better.
so after 3 days of looking i found the keg...looks like somebody tried burying behind the garage
My fart just smelled like the inside of white castle, I mean spot on, no difference whatsoever.
Etiquette question... How do you tell your mother that her nipple is out in her fb profile picture?
Randomize
