I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
The cops found weed in michael jacksons house today...it makes up for the child molesting, I like him more now.
Is it bad that I had sex with another guy on my boyfriend's bed while he's out of town?
Just flip the mattress, it erases all
Done and done
You had me at "you have a nicer rack then her"
I just imagined your drunkass eating Taco Bell in my living room. This is the Godmother of my potential child.
She tried to lure me back to her house by saying she had "real" pizza.
I was just "that girl you seen blowing some dude outside when you drove by"
I don't know how I feel about the stuff we got from that guy. Me and Monty are driving through town listening to static at full blast...
I'm hungover as hell. I'm dying. I have no skin left on my knees
i ate a whole tub of butter with my hands last night. don't tell me about rock bottom
This is John, I met you downtown last night.
Oh, ok.
This is the cop that kept you out of trouble last night
I woke up at 4 am to a guy curled up in the fetal position sobbing in our front yard. Oh college.
now that we broke up we are playing hot potato with the cock ring.. Poor thing just needs a home
I'm taking the day off so I can get drunk at Whole Foods before noon
Randomize
