going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
ill find time for any girl whos not afraid to grab my junk in front of 100 people
Stop trying to talk to my friends!!
then get some ugly ones...
apparently breaking a beer bottle and then throwing up in a urinal is a terrible way to pick up girls.
Grandma just handed out bail money... it's officially christmas
I got arrested for "public intoxication". Fuckers threw me out of the bar into public... i mean shit they have thirsty Thursdays. And I get thrown out for self serve Sundays plus a citation.
You may or may not of thrown up on your shoes, and you tried to give me a wet willy in my eye.
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
You could become Eskimo brothers with my dad. How can you pass that up? You pussy.
dude, you declined head because you wanted to tell her about how you put cinnamon in your weed. also, we're low on Chef Boyardee
There is blood on my sheets, we apparently used 8 towels, everything in my shower is knocked down. Wut?
I bet the guy on the treadmill next to me with the noise-canceling headphones wishes he could trade them for smell-canceling noseplugs. Hard to believe that last one did not involve any pants-shitting on my part.
Knowing how to carefully mix my vices has to be the #1 skill I've gotten from pharmacy school
Im too stoned for my mom to be picking up hitch hikers. Help.
No pussy. I don't care what time of year it is you do not look tough wearing sandals. Honestly you look like a high school guidance counselor.
Randomize
