Currently looking for a new liver on ebay. Struggle.
Holy mother of cocks. I was grind-with-my-boss drunk last night.
She told me she needed to clarify that we are not fuck buddies, we are best friends that have sex once in a while
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
I need to have sex with you on our hotel room window ledge... This is a need not a request.
you force-fed me gummy vitamins while screaming "I JUST WANT YOU TO BE HEALTHY" i have never been so terrified in my life.
We're about to go to a party titled 'Night of 1000 Jello Shots".
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
I THINK I JUST JOINED A GANG. PLEASE PICK ME UP.
Im about to get a baby alligator stoned, what are you doing with your life?
OMG CHARGE YOUR PHONE I NEED TO KNOW IF THIS IS A GOOD PICTURE OF MY ASS
There's going to be a velveeta shortage. I'm not drunk any more, this is just dire info.
Want to help me look around town for my shorts from last night?
What were you even doing out there at 2 a.m.?
Look, i had a gallon of lemonade, a pack of smokes and a Darth Vader voice changer. What did you EXPECT me to do?
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
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