I'm holding in my pee so that I can hear "Cowboy" in its entirety on the radio
we screwed to my bar mtzvah tape, I became a man while watching myself becom a man
do you think having her use a clorox disinfecting wipe on her vagina will keep me from getting her herpes if I don't have a condom?
I just wanted to yell " i am not a shake weight!!"
i crashed through a building. if that counts then yes, i went out with a bang.
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
Last I saw him was around 10 this morning. He was passed out on the porch with his head under the barbeque cover and there were cups of orange juice around him as well as loose tobacco spread everywhere. Good luck getting a hold of him.
Recently successful and happy relationships are at an all time high now that you are no longer fucking so many peoples girlfriends. You alone have changed the mating patterns in the lower half of our county.
You need to stop relating my life to your schoolwork. But tell my girlfriend that she'd be proud.
Omg. The news was on TV while I was giving him a bj...when the weatherman said its a beautiful start to December, he groaned and said it sure is.
You understand the drunkenness of my drunkenness
Never drinking again. Maybe, if our boss gave us more 3-day weekends we would know how to handle ourselves. That was a shit show.
He came over apologized for his lack of sexual skills. Cleaned my kitchen cooked me dinner. And gave me another one minute stand. I think im okay with this
You thought there were zombies attacking us so you tried to tuck and roll out of a moving vehicle. Also you should consider wearing underwear
The Adderall says yes, but my body says no.
I once went to target high on hydrocodone. I assure you, they can handle unrespectable.
Randomize
