You stuck the head of a rubber chicken you found in her house up your ass and then started running around her living room. Naked.
ugh. my soul tastes like vodka
Having sex with her was like reading the Wall Street Journal.
She tried to keep her legs crossed last night while doing a keg stand. Way to keep it classy.
maddie and i have invented a community puke bowl. explanation later
just so you're aware of it in the morning: you tried to slide down the railing on a snuggie. twice.
MISSING: One left eyebrow. Reward if returned.
She had one unshaved part on her vagina that she called "the soul patch" I just didn't know what to think
Most people would probably take his lack of responses as a queue to stop. But nope, not me. I just keep going. And that's why I don't have a bf, just a little weinered friend
Maybe I'm nitpicking, but that looked more like how one would jerk off an elephant than it did playing air guitar.
everything in the house taste like gin even the water, friday nite was a success
Yeah, first date. First take a pic of him to circulate around for your friends and than have him fill out a short penis questionnaire. Seems completely legit to me.
Might be using my graduation money to pay for an abortion.
I may have been mad at the Supreme Court/patriarchy and tried to hate fuck myself.
Dude whoeverrs house this is has only creeam cheese and beer in the fridge. Thats my kinda diet
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