So I got my period. Finally. In related news, I reinstated my belief in God.
He went down on me in his escalade and his dick is bigger than my forearm. I'm never going back to white guys.
I never had a problem I couldn't slut my way out of.
You're the only person I know who would say "we'll play it by ear" referring to a threesome
he found you with your pants down, trying to straddle the urinal. no one should have to see their sister like that. ever.
Just spiked the bong with a ludens cough drop with hopes it soothes my throat after i rip it.
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
Seriously just confirmed via our bathroom scale that a keg weighs 170lbs
I just told a squirrel he was gonna suffocate because he was eating a plastic bag. and i stared at him till he spit it out. Its official, I love squirrels more than people. they actually listen.
I didn't have the heart to tell him that the reason my vagina was so "prelubricated" was because I had just had another gentleman caller an hour earlier. So, when he commented about how turned on I appeared, I just went with it.
I saw your dick pic and thought there goes the last thread of my heterosexuality.
You know what else? He didn't even get to see my butt. And my butt is really cute. Car sex is awful.
Someone needs to lock me in a chastity belt because all my vagina does is get me into trouble. Fuck.
I was informed this morning that I took all my clothes off and ran around the whole apartment complex. Being as they just moved in, welcome to the neighborhood.
If he flies out here I will sleep with him. I have morals, but not when it comes to southern accents
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