A hot woman with candy. This is what heaven is filled with
Why are there maracas in the dishwasher?
Let's just say he sent me a picture of his dick and I was more impressed with the collection of video games he had in the background...
I don't hate him I just hate being present to see him consume 80 dollars worth of alcohol and then try to tip people with left over money on a Walmart gift card
Please send me a thumbs up pic afterwards. No homo. After you've redressed and are heading for the walk of shame out of course
No, it wasn't really a sexy 'I'm going to go masturbate.' It was an 'I'm going to go masturbate' that implied I was going to drink a tall boy of Mikes and cry while I looked at lesbian porn.
I'm using my ex bfs phone number to look up his Kroger card so I can get a discount on condoms...yep this is my life
You wouldn't believe how many pro-life stickers, and "show us your tits" signs there are between here and Dallas.
Man, you got so high you own goaled yourself in FIFA then got up celebrating.
Whatcha doing tonight? Reply TURNUP if you are drinking, or STOP to cancel messages
He kept telling me that he didn't serve two tours in Iraq for my bitch ass to drink banana rum.
I've never SEEN someone give negative fucks before. It's actually rather impressive. I want to study under them.
11:30 and people are pissing in the sink. It's gonna be a good night.
random boy in my bed. last night wasnt a dream. fuck.
Put down the Captain Crunch and get over here. It’s a dickfest!!
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