shit I'm tired of wearing other peoples clothes to bed
The musician playing at the bar just puked inside his acoustic guitar, then sang an encore performance. I love Louisa!!!!
Iranian Rapper, camaroonian basketball player, mexican i forget and indian doctor....this one looks the best on paper.
A pack of naked men just sprinted down the street screaming in German. It's 5 AM.
Just did coke off of a cross necklace and am headed to the strip club. Happy Easter!
I let him fuck me in a batman costume. Don't talk to me about needing to read fifty shades gray.
I found my hair extensions. They were in my hamper.
We need to drink more. Just think how awesome it would be to wake up in a trailer and NOT remember how wee got here.
Piñatas plus fireworks don't mix well
I totally just pulled my thong out of my purse at the grocery store. Oops.
I got sprayed in the face with titty milk and I'm still so traumatized
Whatever. I have his dick. Haha how many girls can say they have a dildo replica of a guy they were seeing
listen I will take literally anything I can get my tiny gay fingers on
At what point can I admit that I hate going to house parties?
I don't wanna stand in your shitty kitchen making small talk while I guard the quality booze I brought.
I know it's super late on a work night, but can you drop by and bend me over my new motorcycle? I have tequila and tacos...
Randomize
